Author: cslacey

          This morning, I went to a father-daughter dance with my Dad. We danced around on my prayer room floor, His wrap-around arms held me close. From time to time, I looked up into His face and He was smiling down at me with love. He told me I looked pretty, and He liked my dress. Like an eight-year-old, I glowed in His approval.

          None of the others on the dance floor had a dad as great as mine. I never danced with my earthly father, so to dance with my heavenly Father was pure joy. I felt so safe and loved, I remembered once when He told me I was in the spotlight of His love, and I knew that same light followed us around the room.

           He didn’t seem to notice my bathrobe or my rumpled hair, He saw me unblemished, perfect, righteous, and holy. Lord, help me to see all those who know you and those still coming, all who need to dance with you, with eyes like yours. Let me see them with the same love that you have for me, tender, unconditional, accepting, and never ending. Amen

          For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with salvation. Psalm 149:4

          Turn your phone/computer off and leave it off for at least fifteen seconds. When you tv fails and you can’t get a signal, unplug it for at least fifteen seconds before you try it again. Lord, right now I am unplugging the failures of my past that have sprung up to pull me down. I can’t change them or go back…there are no “do-overs.”

          But there is forgiveness and assurance of Your constant love. And hope, because Your word says You are transforming me into Your image, from glory to glory. How I treasure the memory of that first glory that fell the day You became my Lord, and somewhere I read that the second glory is the “absolute, majestic, perfection residing in Jesus Christ. To know I have become the mirror image of Him in Your sight is something I cannot fathom but accept, because You said it was true. So, I’m back Lord. Rebooted. My confidence in Your faithfulness is fully restored and once again I receive Your “signals” and overcome the old me.

“…being transformed into the same image from glory to glory… 2 Corinthians 3:18

          “Crown Him now with many crowns, he reigns victorious,” were part of a worship song I chose to join in on this morning. I started thinking about crowns. I know the Bible talks about laying them at Jesus’ feet in heaven but what were they for? What do they represent and where did they come from? To my thinking, a crow is a reward for an accomplishment, a victory. But why give them, ours, to Jesus? Then it struck me, I couldn’t win anything by my own efforts. He is the victory, so I will lay my crown of obedience won when I submitted to His will and did the right thing. I’ll lay my crown of mercy granted by His grace when I gave love to one who dissed me. My crown of patience, given when I took time to listen to a hurting friend vent about her circumstances. Every time I lay down my selfish desires and meet someone’s needs, I am given a crown, a victorious symbol that I have surrendered to God’s will. I cannot win any battle on my own, so the victory is His and with great joy I lay my crowns at the feet of Him who never loses a battle.

Behold I am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown. Revelation 3:11

          Christmas is only days away and I have struggled to enter its glorious meaning. My decorations are few, no cookies made, only what was absolute has been done. After a long time in prayer in the Spirit, it ended with the word “Badeshe.” Over and over I heard myself cry this word.

          “What does it mean, Lord,” I asked. “Come with Me,” was His instant response. I pondered what that meant and what it implied, then went on with my reading of the Christmas story in Luke, where the shepherds heard the angel’s announcement. I stopped reading and recited the whole passage, having learned it in grade school as a child. In this translation the shepherds say, “Let’s go, and hurry to find this child and see for ourselves what the Lord has revealed to us.”

          Come with me, echoed again in my heart. Let us go! So, I am coming with them, Lord, putting aside what isn’t, should be, and I wish was. I am kneeling once again at your manger to celebrate afresh Your unspeakable gift.

Unto us a child is born. Unto us a Son is given. Isaiah 9:6

          In the early forties, often laid off, but ever searching for work, every Christmas my dad would take me and my three sisters to the least expensive tree lot and together we’d pick out our fifty cents or one dollar treasure. It would have rivaled Charlie Brown’s tree for least likely to impress, but we were thrilled, it was ours!

           Tired, old decorations were retrieved from the attic, along with strings of silver ‘icicles,’ carefully saved from year to year. We could hardly wait for Dad to finish stringing the lights so we could do our part. Red and green constriction paper strips, cut and pasted into a long chain had been prepared the night before, ready to encircle the tree from top to bottom.

          At last dad finished and the magic moment arrived. He pulled the switch and multicolored lights all came on…for a brief moment. Patiently we waited while Dad found the guilty bulb and the lights stayed on, until the next one fizzled. The aluminum star with battered blue trim went first, then the tarnished balls, many of which had lost much of their color. Assorted sparse ornaments were next, followed by our homemade decorations,

          Snow swirled outside our windows, but we couldn’t wait till dark when dad would again turn on the lights. We loved Christmas and were proud of our tree. One year only socks and new underwear were our gifts. It didn’t matter. We were loved and cared for. It was Christmas and we had a beautiful tree to prove it.

A word to the wise, (or maybe those over fifty.)

          This is a warning—or maybe just a FYI, to inform you that some of the inanimate things you have in your home or on your person have power you may not be aware of.

          For instance, did you know that ink pens have the ability to travel?  I know because all of mine are either all in my purse, or all at the place where I check my “to do” list, or all at my computer desk. Note, I leave some at each place for my convenience, but at some time, I think it’s in the dark of the night, they all congregate in one place or the other.

          And take my house key. I can pull into my garage, shut off the motor, and the minute I pull out that key, I have an overwhelming need to make it to the bathroom—in a hurry. No warning before hand, but the minute that key touches the lock, (and God help me if I drop it,) something touches my innards. I think there may be a gremlin in my purse that says, “she’s home, rank up the pressure!”

          And why are my reading glasses always in the other room? And who causes my cell phone to hide till I must call on Alexia for help to find it? And how does that little round thing know my phone number anyway? I have seen the lights in my basement glare at me from the bottom of the stairs with a message, “ya ya, ya ya, you forgot to turn us off.”

          It’s a conspiracy, determined to complicate my life, but I’m going to set up an unbreakable system. All ink pens will be returned to their place. My house key will remain deep in my purse where it cannot see I am home till I grab it at the last minute, no mercy. I’ll put those glasses on a chain around my neck and keep that sneaky cell phone in my pocket, (if they just go back to making jeans with decent pockets again,) where it can’t jump out and hide. And I will check the lights before I climb the stairs.

          Sure, I will.

          Recently I learned that when Abraham’s servant went to find a wife for Isaac, the man asked for Garah, which meant “give me success.” Is it too late for me to change, Lord? Or could you just give me some Garah?

          “Then he said, “O Lord, God of my master Abraham, please give me success this day…Genesis 24: 12

          Lord, You saw this rebellious lamb stuck in the brambles and thorns of Satan’s lies, unable to free myself of revenge and unforgiveness, a victim of trying to fight my own battle. I so needed a rescue from willfully running away from what I knew You expected from me. I tried, but I couldn’t free myself. My deepest desire, to please You, waned as evil thoughts stole back, bent on convincing me of my “rights.” Didn’t I deserved to justify myself?

          In my helpless state, I could hear the wolves of wrong thinking howl, ready to devour me. Deep within, I knew You were my only help, I cried out, and with no condemnation, You came and lovingly tore off the bands that held me. When You put me up on Your shoulders and caried my battered soul, I was freed of that bondage. Safe at last from all that kept peace, love, and joy flowing in my heart.

           Unforgiveness and revenge lost their hold, stripped of power by the great love and mercy of my Savior, replaced by His amazing grace. A new supply to grant the same unearned, undeserved favor now raced through my renewed spirit, ready to grant His same gift of grace to any who need to experience His great, unmerited love. Thank you, my faithful Shepherd. Amen

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. Hebrews 12:28

          Lord, You saw this rebellious lamb stuck in the brambles and thorns of Satan’s lies, unable to free myself of revenge and unforgiveness, a victim of trying to fight my own battle. I so needed a rescue from willfully running away from what I knew You expected from me. I tried, but I couldn’t free myself. My deepest desire, to please You, waned as evil thoughts stole back, bent on convincing me of my “rights.” Didn’t I deserved to justify myself?

          In my helpless state, I could hear the wolves of wrong thinking howl, ready to devour me. Deep within, I knew You were my only help, I cried out, and with no condemnation, You came and lovingly tore off the bands that held me. When You put me up on Your shoulders and caried my battered soul, I was freed of that bondage. Safe at last from all that kept peace, love, and joy flowing in my heart.

           Unforgiveness and revenge lost their hold, stripped of power by the great love and mercy of my Savior, replaced by His amazing grace. A new supply to grant the same unearned, undeserved favor now raced through my renewed spirit, ready to grant His same gift of grace to any who need to experience His great, unmerited love. Thank you, my faithful Shepherd. Amen

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. Hebrews 12:28

          Fourteen months after my husband’s death and still troubled with regrets l hadn’t done all I could have for him during his last months on earth, I often prayed for God’s insight. Ken would have held nothing against me, I was his love. I asked God to forgive me, and I know He did, but forgiving myself for not being more attentive to his unspoken needs, for more time by his bedside, more reading him the Scriptures, or praying for him, didn’t come easily.

          I knew I had to forgive myself and let it go, but regrets continued to taunt me. A friend suggested I stop judging myself and I knew it was right, pride was messing with a desire to be perfect in my own strength. By faith I had chosen to forgive myself, but regrets continued to badger. What was I to do with this persistent anguish?

          One morning a devotional spoke to my heart It said the blood of Jesus has removed everything you wish wasn’t true about you, including regrets and that it was His doing not mine. He opened my eyes to see and believe regrets were part of His forgiveness plan. My heart soared as I finally got it! I envisioned myself laying those regrets at the foot of the cross where His blood covered them, and they were swept away forever.

           I thank the Lord for this personal revelation sent to free me once and for all time. And praise to Him who bled and died to cover everything the enemy uses to condemn. May our hearts be open to all Christ finished at the cross.

The Lord opens the eyes of the blind Psalm 146:8

          Nine months ago today, my beloved left with the angels to join Jesus. Nine months. The time it takes to fully develop a human baby. Made me wonder where I am after nine months of unwelcome change. In less than a week to ten days, an embryo can implant itself in the mother’s uterus, ready to grow. For over a week I mostly cried, unwilling to accept the perfect atmosphere God had already provided to nurture my venture into this new season.

          At eight weeks, the fetus’ heart it is pumping. Mine pumped but guarded, hiding broken pieces from most people. The fetus’ brain structure is also in place. Mine couldn’t seem to remember what day it was. The baby had grown to just over an inch, I shrank at the new responsibilities thrust upon me.

          At twelve weeks or so, the baby’s fingers and toes develop, what looked like a tail disappears, it’s heartbeat can be heard, and the organs are present. I struggled to face our 67^th wedding anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Ken’s birthday and the entrance of a new year, all in less than four months.

          Around fourteen weeks an ultrasound reveals the little one’s sex, and at eighteen weeks the baby can hear and even suck its thumb. Through God’s unfailing word, I too began to “hear” that He was with me, and it was ok to pour out my pain, latch onto to His presence and draw comfort from His endless grace.

          Sometime around twenty weeks, a mother feels a fluttering that progresses to strong kicks, movement that can even be seen. Closing in on six months, my self-pity and reticence to accept what was, faded. I no longer kicked against the pricks—mostly.

          Life’s force tells the baby it’s time to leave this safe, warm place, and an inner energy guides it into the birth canal. My pathway appeared gradually, one day at a time but undeniable.

          Nine months pass, the baby leaves the womb. The new sphere is cold. It gasps its first breath and cries. Warmed, it is laid on its mother’s chest. Loving caresses and soft words flow from the one who carried him close to her heart. He sleeps, assured he is safe and cared for.

          The calendar dates nine months, seems like yesterday and years ago. At times I still face a cold blast of loneliness and loss, but I’ve learned to take a fresh breath of all that is good in my life, my faithful Shepherd, family, friends. I wrap myself in the love of the one who carries me on His heart, and rest in His tender promise to meet all my needs. He listens patiently when I cry out and sends the Holy Spirit to comfort when growth is painful. I too won’t face life alone.

“They shall still bear fruit in old age—be fresh and flourishing…” Psalm 92:14 NKJV